


Break Away

by CCCcat



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 19:39:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCCcat/pseuds/CCCcat
Summary: This whole reversed universe shit, McCoy should have seen what this Kirk wants from him, with his own feelings for his captain strong and unreturned.





	Break Away

**Author's Note:**

> Just bad smut, maybe more. Rape warning. Feelings.

“You swear you are not going to hurt him?” McCoy asks in a trembling voice, there’s no way to hide it, he’s desperate.

“I can hurt all of you, or I can tell Spock to get the time for the next ionic storm.” Jim with a scar and a cold smirk on his face answers him.

McCoy forces himself to meet the man’s eyes, this cold, brutal murderer, dictator, with the name James T Kirk in this fucked up universe, the counter partner of the captain McCoy loves. 

He can't stop thinking about Jim, still passed out in the Brig, he has to get him out of this, with every chance he can get.

“And that choice depends on me?” McCoy asks suspiciously, what could this Kirk possibly want from him? He is certainly useless in this world. He met his own double once, an equally brilliant but dangerous and manic man with the expert knowledge of how to gut a man in two seconds and all methods of torture.

His cold but crazy gaze sends chill down Leonard's spine, same thing with this world’s Kirk. They look like a match for this crazy-ass world, what would Kirk want him for? He is soft in comparison and they have already tested him enough to be certain that he could never kill another innocent person.

“Not really.” Kirk shrugged, “Spock gives a good argument, that Vulcan is soft on you but he can be pretty damn convincing.”

“Then what the hell did you get me here for?” Bones exclaims, he can’t help himself. He is terrified and worried sick about Jim’s head injury on the inside. His mouth just automatically gets him in trouble whenever under stress.

Kirk smiles at that, scaring him even more. “Guess you do are a bit like him after all.” He says with a faint smile, McCoy knows too well whom he is referring to.

“Don’t really wanna be.” He mutters.

Kirk’s gaze is instantly cold before he stands up and walks right into McCoy’s personal space. McCoy flinches.

He raises his hand, finger tips brush against McCoy’s face. “Except for those eyes, of course.” His finger circles McCoy’s left eye, McCoy has to grit all his willpower to not close his eye or just turns away.

Kirk’s fingers come to a rest on McCoy’s lips. His face is too close, McCoy can feel his breathe on his face; he raised his eyes a little bit so he doesn’t have to be looking at Kirk’s intensive gaze on him. He is still roughly the same height and build as Kirk, but he feels so weak and defenseless.

His Kirk is his friend. This Kirk is a ruthless bastard, lurking around him like a predator toying with his prey.

“I heard him call you something.” He says suddenly, eyes narrowing as if thinking, but looks the same as if he’s threatening, McCoy can’t read this Jim that good.

“Bones, right?” He says with an excited expression but always cold, cold eyes, “A nick name?”

The pressure on his lips is still here, so McCoy doesn’t chance to speak, he nods, swallowing hard, what is Kirk doing here?

The other man chuckles, the familiarity of that smile almost makes McCoy lost for a second. “Oh, your universe is so soft. You know, I once tried to give you a nickname.” His eyes are still cold but sparkling now, “And you stabbed me every time I say it.”

The context sounds pretty bloody, but the light in Kirk’s eyes is well known to McCoy. He sees it in Jim’s eyes all the time, when he looks at the Enterprise, when he flirts with beautiful alien women, when he meets an old lover he respects and still feels for.

The look is never directed at McCoy though, and not ever will that happen.

“I gotta say, you are sexy with that scalpel.” He says quietly, eyes wandering away from McCoy.

“You must wonder why you are here, Bones.” He stresses the final word, sounding so wrong to McCoy’s ears.

“About time.” He grounds himself, and gets a cold smirk from Kirk in return.

“I want to you all gone, and there are different ways to do that.I could change my mind anytime, kills all of your friends, and maybe cuts down Spock’s pointy ears.” Danger fills his voice, he is not Jim, McCoy tells him over and over again, it hurts him to see a James Kirk like this.

“A little resistance is nice, but nobody likes boys who don’t obey. ” The venom makes McCoy shiver. ”So maybe you wanna just do what I tell you.”

This time, his own voice failed him, he nods again.

“Good.” Kirk looks pleased and smug, “Stand face against the wall.”

McCoy grits his teeth and complied, he can only see Kirk for the corner of his eyes right now. “Good boy, now take off your clothes.”

“What?” McCoy’s head snaps back up, he turns his head and stares unbelievably at Kirk.

“I think I just ordered you to strip.” He smiles lazily, amused.

McCoy panics, and his mouth runs off again “NO! You god damn brat--”

“You want your captain alive, right? You know, on my command, my McCoy will not even hesitate to kill your captain, he’s probably got enough hate to give him a few rounds of nice torture first, how would you like that?” Kirk’s patience is gone in a split second; his words leave McCoy with terror.

He grits his teeth tightly and shakes his head, his whole body is trembling now as he reaches for his shirt. Too humiliating, too painful.

He pulls his shirt over his head, tosses it aside, cool air brushes against his exposed skin, he shivers, but still his face is heated red.

He stares at the ground as he removes his shoes and pants, every hair on his body standing up. Kirk is now behind him, not touching, but McCoy can clearly feel his gaze burning holes on his body.

“And this is not a part of your clothes?” He asks teasingly, hands on McCoy’s last piece of clothes, tugging it down. “No.” He snaps again, can’t really control himself, he has imagined Jim, Jim who would never think of him like that, but this is the wrong place, the wrong Kirk, and all the wrong circumstances.

Kirk grabs him from behind, and he kicks and pushes, “Get your hands off me, you fucking devil! ” He curses and fights, only to have a knee smashes into the back of his knees. He painfully falls kneeling on the ground, wrists caught in Kirk’s tight grip, pinned down on the wall few inches away from his noses.

The cold feeling on his ass is Kirk tearing up his briefs with a knife. “NO!” McCoy cries, feeling Kirk forcefully tugs one knee between his thighs, separating his legs until he can move in and kneel right behind McCoy.

His legs can’t close now, and is supporting him at a weird angle. He can’t muster any strength from a position like that; his hands and body would be giving out already if Kirk is not gripping him painfully.

He tries to put up one last fight, shamefully wiggling his body, but that just ends up with movements like shoving his ass onto Kirk’s thigh, where he can clearly feel a hard-on.

His face turns even redder with embarrassment; eyes wide open with fear. Kirk laughs at his desperation, “You don’t have to be like this, McCoy, I’m not planning on hurting you, this can be a win-win scenario if you work with me.”

“You are not him.” McCoy says, feeling sick at the thought of his Jim.

“And you are not him either.” Kirk says.

“Then why the fuck don’t you go and rape that lunatic!” McCoy shouts, and instantly regrets it. Did he just literally tell Kirk to hurt somebody else? But he doesn’t feel like he can make it through this, not with Kirk’s hand now rubbing his ass.

He can’t do it, sex is never just sex for him; he would choose never have sex with his affection than a drunk and one-night thing, and he would choose the worst torture over being forced to have sex, even it’s with the monster possessing Jim’s face. 

The hand leaves his ass, and grabs his hair, smashes his head into the wall forcefully, McCoy grunts painfully.

“I would recommend a gag if you don’t know how to talk.” Something is pushed inside his mouth while he is still dizzy. And when he comes back, he finds himself stripped from his last defense. 

The fabric gag firmly muffles all his cries and shouts.

Kirk kisses his neck, with tongue licking and all teeth biting, leaving a trail of marks and a feeling of sickness in McCoy’s stomach.

His wrists are bruising painfully under Kirk’s hand, his legs are definitely going to sore and hurt as hell, he may choke on his own vomit if he throws up, never mind what Kirk would do to him if he really does. But nothing is worse than Kirk’s hand spreading his ass cheek, finger circling his entrance.

He would be begging, humiliating hums comes out involuntarily from behind the gag as Kirk awkwardly lubes his finger and starts pushing into McCoy.

One finger is completely buried inside McCoy right now. He has to rest his head on the wall so he can breathe, pain burning in his chest.

The finger starts moving in and out, working him open, quickly, a second one joined it and they starts to brush against his prostate.

Kirk is good at it, his fingers twist and turns inside McCoy, making him moan and cry. His dick betrays his will every time that sensitive spot is being touched.

His hip is forced moving with Kirk adding in a third finger, relentlessly fucking him on his fingers. He tries to move away, but he is pinned down so tight, by Kirk’s lips kissing his back, hand holds his down, and fingers fucking him blind.

“Beggars can't be choosers.” All in the sudden, Kirk murmurs to his ear, and that’s all his lust-clouded brain can hear, he really tried to fight the sensation even though he knows as a doctor he just can’t.

“You should relax and take what you can get, McCoy. I won't do this to you if I got other choice, but I love him.” Selfish bastard, McCoy thinks faintly, and Kirk seems to ‘hear’ that.

“That’s what we are like. I can’t do this to him; he would run away because he can. And I can’t live without him, all of his insanity cruelty and doubtable loyalty, even his unpredictable human softness. ”

That’s why he is here, because he is soft, he can’t break away, he can’t break away from Kirk raping him; he can’t break away from Jim even though he knows Jim will never return his feelings. Only in a fucked-up world like this, would Jim holds his love, just one time, for McCoy. And only in a fucked-up way like this, would he ever be able to have Jim.

It hurts so much that McCoy is lost in the other Kirk’s words, all his resistance come undone. He thrusts back onto Kirk, and Kirk instantly catches on to that, removes his fingers. His dick pressed against McCoy’s opening.

The slight pain of being split open clears McCoy’s mind. He shakes his head, whimpering pathetically. But he doesn’t really get a say in here, does he?

Kirk’s cock pressed into him, the thickness pushes him open, and the length fills him up. He never remembers Jim’s dick looks so massive, would go inside him so deep, tormenting him with every move, it’s not suppose to be like that.

Kirk’s hands move up, catch his wrists separately, pin his hands next to his head.

His hands are now powerless, grip and loose every time Kirk slowly thrusts into him, his fingers shaking.

Kirk moves so close to McCoy’s body, front presses to McCoy’s back. Head rests on his shoulder, cock moving in and out.

It hurts, tears fill up his eyes as an automatic response to the burning at his entrance. But what drives him crazy is the feeling that Kirk’s cock inside him, that along kills him. He’s getting fucked, by Jim’s dick.

Kirk seems to be a man with little patience, he speeds up without McCoy ever accommodating to his rhythm. Huge cock fucks into McCoy forcefully. McCoy cries and shouts, making all kinds of miserable noises as he rides Kirk’s cock.

He has to buckle up, pushes himself onto Kirk’s dick to avoid rubbing his own leaking dick raw on the wall. And he supposes he already has no shame left to feel bad about doing so.

Just the humiliation and violation refuse to go away.

Kirk fucks him hard, almost humping him onto the wall, he bites McCoy’s ear, relentlessly rolls his hips, shoves his cock again and again into McCoy.

McCoy chews down hard on the gag, shuts his eyes, and turns his head away from where Kirk is kissing his neck. This is not Jim, he tells himself, this is a monster who holds Jim’s life now, and that’s why he’s doing it, to keep Jim safe.

Kirk roars and nibs and licks his earlobe, “You are fucking awesome, I love fucking you.” McCoy’s face turns red at his words, burning with humiliation.

“Love your tight hole.” He says, breathless, speeds up even more, knocks air from McCoy’s lungs, and fucks him so fast he can’t take it anymore.

He’s so close and Kirk whispers to him, “You are beautiful, Bones,” 

He comes all over the wall with the familiar voice calling him that.

Kirk continues to fuck him even though McCoy collapses into him. He holds McCoy close to him, removes the gag, and kisses McCoy on the lips, biting and pushing in.

McCoy can’t fight him anymore, he is so sore and used up, he can’t even talk other than making miserable noise when Kirk fucks into him again, every thrust is one too many.

He closes his eyes tightly as Kirk kisses him, tries to turn his head away, Kirk grabs his chin, licks away the tears that he can’t hold any longer.

“Please.” His voice is so hoarse and broken he doesn’t recognize it, “I can’t take this anymore.”

Kirk is so turned on by the broken, vulnerable doctor. He comes with a few last strokes, right inside McCoy’s ass.

McCoy climbs away instantly after Kirk loose his grip, he climbs back onto his feet unsteadily, searches for his clothes, still raw and broken written on his face.

Kirk thinks maybe the two doctors actually have more in common, except his doctor would never break, and he would never try.

“I know what it feels like.” In whatever universe, Kirk is always more generous and open in his afterglow, and he almost pity the poor doctor, ”He doesn’t love me either.”

McCoy stops in the middle of the room, hands still trembling, the words hurt, badly. His tears threaten to come back again but he blinks them away. 

“I love him just as deeply as you love your captain, who probably doesn’t hate you as much as my doctor hates me, but--”

“I can be him for two second long enough to say what you wanna hear.” He offers, watching the pain overflows the doctor.

“I don’t need pity from a sociopathic crazy person.” The doctor scolds, “When can we leave?”

“You can go ahead and ask Spock, he should be done.”  
\-----

"Bones! You ok?” Jim is already on the transport platform, “Where did they take you?”

Jim looks worried sick, he is almost yelling and casts accusing look at Spock, who doesn’t seem to acknowledge it at all.

Cold, brutal asshole, McCoy thinks, but still the one most resembles their own universe, the Vulcan actually saved them.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” McCoy waves his hands, stepping onto the platform, but at least one part of his body betrayed him. Jim looks at his with disbelief.

“We will fix it.” Jim says with dead serious and certainty, “When we get home.”

“The only thing we have to fix is the damn slump on your head.” He says, knowing in his heart that he won’t be fixed, neither will he be broken.

 

“Are you ok, Bones?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Please talk to me, tell me what happened.”

“I just want to help, Bones”

Same relentless stupid Jim that will keep on bugging him until McCoy lets him in, just like the times at the academy, McCoy’s heart is warm with affection, it’s not Kirk.

Jim is kind, supportive, loving and he is never cruel, cold, brutal, or deeply in love with McCoy.

McCoy signs, pulls the shirt covered in cold sweat over his head, he wills his limbs to stop trembling and he opens his quarter’s door.

“You can stop with the late night thing, trust me, Jim, I’m the doctor, I will be fine.”

He says tiredly. Jim looks at him, rubs his shoulder, sends reassurance through McCoy’s body. “You can always talk to me if you want to.”

McCoy nods, knowing clearly he will never talk to Jim, he can handle this, he may be broken a bit, but he wouldn’t shatter.

Kirk can’t break him, not when he is already broken and restored back again everyday by the weight of loving someone who would never love him back.

He offers his heart and soul to Jim, the dazzling sun, and he is already burned and falling from unable to reach out and touch him even when they stand so close. Kirk would not get to him anymore.

If the nightmares can just go away.  
\---------

“You fucked him?” McCoy asks dismissively, swapping Kirk’ hand away, “In case you forgot, I’m not him, you lose your hand next time you touch me.”

“I won’t do that to you.” Kirk says, hand comes back to McCoy’ face, caressing his empty eye socket.

McCoy eyes him for a second, "You realize that I have a price, which is not entirely impossible for you to pay, you know--"

“I don’t want that.” He says with childish persistence and naiveness.

McCoy signs, tugs Kirk down for a scan, Kirk lean softly into his touch. “Well, bad news that I no longer have a heart to be robbed by you.”

Shouldn't have voice it so loud, shouldn't have let McCoy know how deeply trapped in love he is, McCoy will use it against him, he is sure. McCoy is probably just planning what he can get out of this.

All of the good in him is mustered and given to McCoy, and the man doesn't want it, doesn't even give a damn.

Still, the care of his hand and the soft sighs he gives to Kirk keeps trapping him down.


End file.
